U, She and I

Its never comfortable to part with your loved one. More so when u know that u r the one who is pushing the other out. I tell u this and many other things to calm you down.
I can clearly see there is a drop of tear that u r fighting to stop from spilling out. "It happens man", I say, " U know everything is replaceable in this world". After looking back at her for the nth time you walk back with me to our house. U remember and tell me how u had taken a liking to her the minute u saw her.The kind of excitement u felt when she was all yours. How you had a tough time handling her initially, how u got used to her and how u loved to drive with her to the beach. How she made you proud and popular amongst your friends. How you waited eagerly for the weekends just to be with her. How she made you cross all Limits. How so very happy you were with her and then how it was so difficult for you to leave her back there, miles away and come home to India. And how ur mother had vehemently disapproved of you getting her here and somehow u had convinced ur mother and the rest of ur family and made a place for her.The anxiety u felt when u went to receive her and how relieved u were to see her arrive without any hassles finally and how u had paid an obscene amount of money to get the number 707 on her number plate.

Bountiful Blissful Backwaters

All I cud see was the comforting, welcoming bed at midnight. Wasn’t very long before I drifted into sleep thinking of another night. Somewhere there a few hundred miles away, under the starry sky, the moon would shine bright on another group of people bereft of werewolves:).And how the night before seemed surreal, almost like straight out of a postcard. The valley with no sodium lamps. No blaring horns from vehicles. Just the dark of the night, the buzz of crickets, the thick bushes, wet swampy land, and the sound of the ripples hitting the bunds of the water body was wat we had for company as we coracled our way into the island with the paddle making tiny whirls on the surface of the reservoir.
The trip started off as expected on Friday evening after doubting and doubting more if 5 of us could fit in the small alto. The 707 ripped its way along the highway unmindful of the potholes,drizzles and blinding headlights. Reached pati's place at night for a warm welcome and devoured on idlis ,hungry we were for we stopped no where to eat on the way. Disturbed sleep , early morning alarms are something that I am not happy with most of the days but the prospect of roaring jog falls masked it all. At 6 we packed and left from shimoga to jog. A drive of 3 hours on reasonably well maintained roads and pristine green. watching people wake up to a new day , stopping for breakfast we reached the much-heard-of train track. No wonder it was so popular. Now who on earth would not want to travel by a toy train right thru the plush green paddy fields and clear streams? we walked on the tracks and then headed towards jog.

It was majorly disappointing to watch rocket trickle down like a meek stream.Sometimes in life its like that.U know wat is in store already.U have been told that there would be more people than water near the falls.But still the mind wants something grand... u know that small amount of freak chance that says what if by chance it has changed.what if they decided to open the gates of the dam today and jog is in full swell.huh! after a minute of staring at the falls I realized its beautiful. The mighty falls amongst the rocks stood towering in front of us. Almost as if to show its power, water had cut thru the rocks and carved it beautifully like a skilled sculptor. We decided to trek down to the base of the falls. Shoes without a strong grip not jus make u slower and make u concentrate on each step but also give shaky knees. To watch Raja, Rani, Roarer and Rocket pour down relentlessly was beautifully awesome to say the least. Climbed back in a record time and then munching munch we set out to Honnemardu.being guided rightly by the well read man , driving along the reservoir boundary , made it to THE PLACE. The road was motorable for most part. But the last few meters before the base camp were swampy and all of us except captain got off the car. After we inspected the track and gave a green signal , he almost propelled the car thru the mire and we were greeted by ganapathi-the rep of "The adventurers”. The Adventurers are the group who have conceptualized Honnemardu and developed????? Ok I would rather say made it congenial for adventure/ water sports. Each of us was hungry and wanted food and some rest to get our legs back in shape before we started any other activity . We chose our room - the one to the right and placed our luggage, took out our plates and assembled in the circle for lunch.Beetroot+onion palya, onion sambar+rice.Filled to the brim barely managed to walk back to our room that was a few meters away from the circle.R and I went to the loo , the door of which din close and when we were done, she pointed to something on the ground, very close to the door, that was brown in color with black spotted dots and curled up in circles like chakli .I immediately recognized it was snake.But the amount of noise we were making din cause it to move, so I thot may b some1z playing pranks keeping a clay model of a snake close to the toilet door. I initially thot of taking it in hand and throwing it away but something in me suggested that I shud confirm first. So we poured water close to it. No it dint move. Now I was sure it was a model and she thot it was rusted iron .Another splash on it and it suddenly crawled up with its hood a lil expanded. That’s it. I jus freaked out , screaming out loud started running away from there. For almost 10 minutes anything, that touch me slightly I perceived as the snake we saw.P and the others thot we were exaggerating and went to inspect.O wanted a foto n they opened the door fully to get more light. I guess they still dint believe fully that it was indeed a snake albeit a small one, so they used a stick to jus tickle it.Yuckkkkkkk it started moving on the cemented floor making creepy sound that freaked all of us out!!!We headed back and were about to drift into sleep the other group knocked on our door.Ganapathi had sent for us .Cursing the noisy group we reluctantly got ready and yeah on the way saw another black snake(rattle I guess--*shrugs and twists lips as if to say oh snakes- they are a common sight*). We guessed Ganapathi was a trained rural man as he spoke understandable English and insisted we form a single line circle each time before he spoke. Thus we christened him Circle Ganapthi ;).He briefed us the agenda for the rest of the day. First swim in the water and get used to life jackets. Learn to coracle and manage it on our own and then finally pack bags and coracle to the near by island for a night's camp. Now it does not sound like fun when one is asked to get into cold water that deepens in a slope to about 150 feet.U need to trust life jackets and believe that come wat may thy shall not drown. After dips and shivers finally started enjoying. The mild sun, vast expanse of water boundaried by green mountain on all sides made it very pleasurable. Next we had to coracle .5 of us in one coracle , 2 long alumimium paddles, some rusk and chakli and we had an awesome time trying not to hit the bushes that had grown into the water along the bunds. Then we had hot tea, and left for the island at dusk. The almost-full moon reflecting the sun rays, the mirror like water surface reflecting moon light was blissful and made the valley feel like haven.we reached the island rowing in turns , 4 in a coracle. It was dark and we jus walked thru the barely laid out tracks to the camp site.

Pitching tents on our own, giving out werewolf cries we were ready for dinner famished by the swim.Criss-cross campfire that later became a star type. Nonstop irritating banter by the other group and the wet clothes made us feel cold. When dinner arrived we gorged on the chapathis and bele paysa endlessly. Finally laid out the mattress sheets and went to sleep. It started raining at night and the tip tip sound on the tent+fear of some creepy crawlys sharing our tent dint help us sleep much but we caught up enough to feel recharged for the next day. The day was welcome by a 100 hundred chirping birds , patterned dew drops, fresh air and sky looked innocent for some reason. Sun hid behind the clouds and we went to spot the Linganamakki dam that held all the water from flowing at Jog. The almost-a Kilometer long dam was a sight. same exercise of coracling brought us back to the main camp. we had tea and poori palya for breakfast.Musambi to wash down the pooris.Finally spotted the much expected leeches , washed plates pouring out water from the only source of water to drink/wash/clean - The well near the dining circle. There was still a trek to catch the view of the valley and canoeing to be done. Though we surely knew the view at the end of the trek would be worth every drop of sweat , we wanted to do canoeing and head back home. After convincing the other group and Ganapthi for the same, we ran back to the back-waters. Canoe looked cool as it cut thru the water and moved at a lightning speed when compared to the coracle of the previous day.R and I bravely took one canoe and set out. Somewhere feeling like Columbus/ Marco polo/ vasco da gama;).The spirit of sailors instilled :)It was a lot of fun to prevent the canoe from toppling. All about synchronization circle ganapathi explained. Make a C in the water when u want to turn left, ulta C if u want to go right. Co-ordinate and shift to the centre and then change sides.Dont let the paddles sink, u wont coz u have life jacket he said. So simple...!2 rounds of it and hands started singing in pain SEEEEE....... ulta SEEEEE...........It was noon time and we had to leave soon.One last time for this trip , we thot and plunged again into the water unmindful of another set of wet clothes. Floating with hands spread wide apart and drifting with the flow of water, staring at the blue sky dotted with clouds feels amazingly good. Staring at the rain drenching mountains that border the water body and watch the rain run towards us , sitting alone on a canoe far away from the crowd is equally blissful guarantees P.After a sumptuous lunch, we hit the roads to Bangalore at 2.Junk was the food for stomach and philosophy food for the mind. Talking of less eventful drives on US roads, Buddha, vipasana,society, dreams, choices, we brought to life the skydivers, tennis coaches, astronomers, fishermen, politicians, journalists and mechanical engineers in us to life as we discussed with vigor and passion the ideas and the different schools of thot.Bottlemani with tired legs and strained eyes offered to give up training on Proj management if we went out on such treks every weekend. The sole driver captain conquered all of the 800Kms brilliantly and this trip shall remain fresh for a long time to come. After all its not everyday that u hear stories of buffaloes swimming across islands for food, that u see peacocks flying right in front of ur car to cross the road and snakes crawl fearlessly by ur side:). And here are my 1000 words and a few pics worth 1000 words to bring to life the wonderful trip.

Grandmom

U know how it is to be in a room all the time. No?then ask me.It is blissful.I have always liked my room.This one here with a single cot and my wardrobe.My son had got new white bedsheets and placed ur grand father's photo on the light blue painted wall.That face is almost all of wat I remember of him.Ur grandfather.Anyway my room is compact with a window opening to the garden.I had watched her-my daughter-in-law, ur mother get up daily before dawn and pay obeisance to the tulsi.I had smiled in pride after all my son chose the right lady for himself.Then he got me a mirror and a radio.Then slowly things changed.The servants, cooks all replaced by younger ones.Additions kept happening the slide door, curtain, mosquito coil, pain relief balms n yeah ur wife.Nice girl but is busy all the time or so I think.Sometimes I tell her about our family and traditions .She does not pray daily in front of tulsi but at least she lights the lamps and draws the rangoli in the Pooja room.U know all these horrid stories they tell on this radio of old people being ill treated and sent to old age homes and such.I am glad our house is not like that.I still see the sun rise thru my window daily.Nothing much has changed u know.The cook still never adds enough salt for me. The lil servant boy never gets out of way.My son still comes home late. And yeah my bedsheets and my saree have been the same too.

Review

I expected one song kayaking along Yarra, rollercoasters at Luna park and a dance sequence on St kilda beach .One, atleast one for sure with the whole team having gone so far with the yyeehhhaaawwww SRK. But no! it was neat.Surprisingly no ultra patriotic speeches, no flings with players, no jazzy designer clothing==> must-see movie.Yeppers no points for guessing.Chak de is ultra suuppperrr:).

On another note, I am not prone to reviewing…. movies or otherwise, but then a few days are jus made up of recollection, like today.Made up of quizzical looks from on lookers when they catch u smiling.Smiling unknowingly at a joke that was cracked many moons ago in a lone room somewhere away from the din of the city. Between the two of us and how we had laughed.Uncontrollably.The carefully-arranged-everyone-knows birthday parties.The small lil misunderstandings that helped build more trust than destroy it.Tears, laughs, rants, clashes, stories.The smell of the room, funny lady warden, the aged watchman who I thot invited trouble than scared them away.And I raise a toast to the zany zany high of life that once was.To the zillion firsts tried.To the animated exaggerated stories.To your future that I hope betters the perfection of the past :)

Nuances

Pitter patter drops of rain, announce eagerly that monsoon has arrived.I turn the wipers on rather reluctantly to clear the windscreen as it starts drizzling. I notice u from where I wait for a signal light to give way….Is it a co-incidence that both of us are wearing blue today ? I see you straining to spot the car in the traffic, standing next to a mudpool, trying to cover ur head with ur right palm. I don’t want u to get drenched and catch a cold. These hurried drivers I tell u , sans their road sense ...uff one splashes slushy mud all over ur trousers, another honks like its his last chance..u take a step back n look annoyed. I blink the parking lights for u to recognise me. In the car, u start ur usual banter with "Oi how was ur day ...?"and before u can complete "sshhh , surprise" I seal my lips with the forefinger n silence u also ."Don speak a word". U acknowledge , smile and get busy cleaning up the mess of wet mud. Once steered out of the traffic, I lower the windows n turn the a/c off . It has stopped raining now. But the sky is still overcast. Milky white sky getting darker by the minute givin way to the night. The smell of wet mud and fresh air lighten my senses. U seem to b happy too... jus feelin the air cut thru ur palm that u have strecthed far out of the window. I take that road purposefully n watch closely to check ur expression. Ur eyes, yes they definitely cant hide a thing. But today they are quiet too and not givin in. U adjust ur hair and I think I saw u cringe ur eyes to look at me thru the corner of ur eyes. I distinctly remember the thoughts running in my head same day an year ago. A similar anxiety, a similar silence.The weather is perfect I think. The road awash, buildings bathed clean and the branches of big line of green trees on either side of the road make an arch almost as if to welcome u n me there. I slow down the car n u get off . The after-rain drops of clear water from the leaves make the only noise around.U take ur shoes off and walk on the carpet of dried leaves softened by the rain. I walk behind u, carefully treading the same steps u took . We reach the end of the road, I pluck out a pink flower, clutch ur arms and turn u around forcefully. U jus look into my eyes. I know not of any words that describe what I felt then, but am sure it felt magical.U do not remember the place or the day like many other things, or so I think. I jus hold the flower n say softly "heyyy love u..." .U smile merrily, snatch the flower, hug me tight n say "still a bouganvillia??! N still not on ur knees!! love u for that". After another small walk and a few minutes of blissful silence, realising that its starting to pour again, u run towards the car grabbin my wrist.
What a delightful getaway at the end of another mundane hectic day.

Love

The sun sets and rises unbothered about the whole world that he shines and brings light to, unaware of the joy that he fills in the life of millions.The sea , the breeze , the Sun , all working in harmony.Its a different existence. Who made them all? Wonder y I cant touch and hold the wind blowing. Stop it for a second to say thanks.Shout out thanks for the life that seems to get more meaningful each time I sit here, by the sea and think.And then I see a fisherman struggling to row his boat to the shore.I wonder how different his idea of the sea would be.Its a struggle as i see .He smiles looking at the fish he has caught.As if in gratitude!!!! I realise smooth sea never makes a skilled mariner.Nothing that was struggleless ever brings in satisfication. Sea is beautiful , in love with the surrounding thats y she always smiles.I see the sea raoring with laughter every time the waves hit the shore.Love is such an amazing feeling. Is that how love is defined ? a feeling? is it a state of being ?
Love is wat is holds them together. Him and her.Love is like a box with the top open.Something that binds two together ,holds them frimly yet allows space for growth.He and she are spheres of various dimensions. Grown up separetly and to different degrees over the years expanding their sphere of interest and knowledge.They rollled towards each other like two balls of jelly and stuck...fell in love.Love is that box that holds them together. Both of them have to fit into it. He needs to loose his shape , the one that has taken him years to form. So shud she, for both of them to be in together , smug and cozy .Safe and protected from the rest of the world. But they can still grow .. there is the top left open... Sometimes the two dont fit in together even after squeezin in as much as each one can.. they find spaces encroaching ,so they fall out of the box, deformed and needing to rebuild self ...at times from the scratch .If he falls in love with someone without having to compromsie on nythin at all then he would have found a perfect match to fit into the perfect box of love. Or if they did squeeze a little , change a little of wat they were, they are happy to trade that little to have a world of their own.

After an year

Another January says goodbye.
Her unconditional love grows stronger ...
Still not professed to him

Random Rants-I

In a world where there is no need for a work life balance,
because more often than not u see people equating life and its purpose to work.I donot know if its the escapist's way to fight or
rather not confront loneliness.
Of growing formailities that necessitate u follow protocols akin to : message bfore u call, call bfore u vist .. and that to ur closest friend's place. Talk of isolated nuclear existances.I work therefore i am has become the order of the day.Top it up with the competition that's assuming frenzied proportions.So much that u are no more open to people for fear of divulging something u belive is goin to be of use to you ,to be better placed than ur friend.There completes isolation.Sad but true are the state of affairs where a few days do-nothin would heap in mountains of misery.
If u are in a bad or no relationship, then the internet and the virtual world of virtual people is the only social community u can identify urself with.Yep there definitely are friends who u can go pub hopping or shoppin with, but the insecurity to trust for the fear of breaking it , is too much to bear with.
Now did i touch a part of ur life? U whoever is reading this.:)

Summer Evening Walk...

Pretty lass walks by
His attention...
Not all mine


P.S: My haiku experiment 1

Raining Thoughts

summer rain
bright sunshine
rainbows curve with color-brilliant

drop of tear
ray of hope
lips curve ear to ear-brilliant

New Zeal(and)...

Foggy cloudy morning drive along the motorway into the hills.Down to the valleys .Small hills hiding from the sun bhind the big mountains.Shades of green..that formed a grass carpet on a few hills,a pine jacket on others and some trees that looked tanned brown by the sun.All happily smiling and breathin fresh .We zooomed past each of them only to see more and more lined up.masterton, macd hash brown , yogurt berry and mcmuffin.Smiles laughs and fun!Hot sunny buring Napeir .Long placid sea shore .multihued sea and turned to gisborne.From one particular lookout point it was a sea of color contrasts ,far away was the sea blue as blue can be and the layers of green from where we stood.Sleep sway along the ghats while k drove us professionally all the 550 km to the YHA.A one particularly scared sardaren served us biryani and we headed for a nap. Sweaty sultry weather , map readin lead us to tolaga aby.660m of pure blissful j(a)oy walking.The walkway starts at the shore and penetrates into the sea for abt 660 m, like a line drawn on the sea .The sea looks heavy and water surface glistens with joy as the sun shines bright above bfore setting into the sea. The composed gracious sea sways heavily up and down as the waves soothe it as if to complement the sun rays on the sea. On the right side of the walk is a huge mountain that stands like a wall.It looks exactly like a triangular piece from a round birthay cake :).with even flat surfaces and green tress toppings .The wall of the mountain facing the sea is cream colored and caved in at many a places by the sea.Far on the left hand side are similar mountains that line up one next to the other as if to form a barrier to the sea .I can see they r half covered with green and half left bald .A small mountain stands apart from the rest and looks like an island .Sitting on the last point on the walkway, dangling legs below we jus pause to think if there is a slightest of tremors that would mean all 5 of us would be emptied into the sea:).We look back from there to see the sun paint the sky orange, red and its rays making way through the long pine branches.watta sight!.Off Gisbrone, the city where sun rises first every morn we stopped at the eastwoodhill atboretum.

I remember a vague description of chateau planes and montanas as described in zen and the art of motor cycle maintenance.A dream it was then to walk on such planes and i had never ever thot it would see the light of the day till we climbed up a mountain and realised that we had lost our track and were on top of a mountain.As far at the eyes can stretch there are only hillocks hiclloks, bigger smaller, thick with vegetation, bald and carpeted all with a light breeze and bright sun.The sparse clouds on the sky movin above carryin their shadows on the mountains n i stand there seein it all in astoishment.The arboretum with walkways named after the colors of the flowery shrubs that line up both sides of the path.Pink, blue,purple,red and brown oak walks.Tredding on all walkways for a while and climbing up mainly on brown oak walk.It jus felt out of the world.The steep short cut climb up to the trail ,slippery half dried grass.Sliding down the bed of grass to join the trail below.Jumpin fences finally reasiling that we had lost our track:) Guided half by the map and half by instict we reached back to where we started.

Rere falls and the rarest of the feats i have seen till date.We saw a man jump into the falls. :)!!

Hot sunny Napeir boundaried by the pebble beach that is bereft of sand unlike the usual beaches, looked awesome at sunset.Long silent walk.Sneak peek at the seals resting in the marineland and we called it a day.At Hastings splash planet was the attraction apart from the Indian restro of course:) climbing up and down for the rides at the water park atleast a 20 times.Four hours of formula fun racing,castle rides it was funtastic :D

On our journey back to Wellington, sky looked like it was on fire and so did k n h coz of gay factor we said ,J factor they maintained;).Reaching home after an exhausted fun filled trip its byond doubt that dreams were filled with the snap shots of the three days:)

Upside Down

U know that..

That when u leave me..

Me with ur thots...

Ur thots that fill me...

Me and my lonely nights...

Nights and long days...

Days that burn with desire...

Desire for u to b here...

Here where I stand and wait...

Wait as the earth on its axis turns...

Turns my life upside down...

The Mark

Last night she had a dream.
Funny silly n stupid she had dismissed it.
She had dreamt of a question mark the whole night..like it was starin right in in her face swinging like a pendulum between two extremes.
And then she had pushed it aside to see clearly beyond the questions.
To answers that lined up behind the question mark.
To memories that needed to b wiped offf.
Her eyes filled to the brim with a drop of tear...enuff to roll down and wipe the letters off the paper, but not the memories off her mind.
But this one was not supposed to be the lost...For someday later when the present would be made of memories of the past.. wait .. arent memories always of the past.... she definitely wanted to contemplate and think may be it would have been too much of a joy .yeah t(w)o for 2 at once that is.
But for today she jus let the tears roll down and smudge all over the paper and prayed hopin..All that happpens in life is only for the good.

Listen

Look (am) Back :)

And then there was "peace" , said she and smiled nonchalantly at her own private joke, looking in the mirror tryin to imitate his style.
The freshness seemed to breathe around her, heavy and composed almost telling her that the wait was over .
Wait ...it seemed then , that was wat each minute did.Every second waited to get over and each coming second waited for its turn to come to life.
Now, ideas in the mind seem to take a form giving up their randmoness.
Many months passed seeing parts of the world.
Many moments lost without bein captured as a word.
But from now on , all in the mind would find a place .
With this, all the unattended thoughts in the mind rise...Like the dust from my not-updated-for-ages space.