I have read A S Byatt say somewhere that man is a collection of his thoughts and acts ..something to that effect.. he is of course, but to me more importantly man is a collection of his experiences. One's willingness to experience and take it to the limit. This experience of moving cities, charting the course of life as one pleases....succumbing to the temptations life has to offer... excites me.
As I said good bye to yet another house, probably the 10th house in the last 10 years, I wondered why this choice.I wonder what if the choice was to stay. Strange how a single decision changes everything. The choice is made and we start fresh..yet again.Walking into the empty room , staring at the cupboards without contents...I took a picture of the emptiness and how we had so much fun filled into the house while we stayed there. My little world in boxes, cartons and suitcases filled with clothes , shoes, food, n books. I carry with me the scent/aroma of India. The memories this smell will remind me of in a few days. And so after 2.5 months of craziness, physical exhaustion, logistical nightmares. flaring tempers and uncontrollable tears we are here. Like right out of a storm in many ways and into a sudden calm. This void that is almost impossible to handle. Its soo hard to change the rhythm/pace of one's day-to-day life.
I try to reason with myself many a times on why one moves cities. I remember a valid irrefutable argument favoring this craziness every single time. Its like waking up in a dream. Its all so clear, so tangible yet somehow not. The worst kind of dreams are the ones in which I am thristy. So parched I am unable to breathe. I can see a glass of water next to me but I am trying to reach a glass farther away, cant reach it and tumble out of my bed. We call it the "iruvudellava bittu iradudaredege" syndrome Oh! how i love when someone wordizes that exact feeling. hail Gopalakrishna Adiga
Sometimes i stand and watch my life from a distance.. like a spectator and realise its so difficult to be me and be with me. Chasing life, running after something.. constantly. Hope i reach the thirst quenching glass someday. Hope its filled with chilled beer :)
