What motivates anyone to move to different cities.
For me it is always to break the routine. But moving countries ?personally it
has been very difficult but essential. Reasons can be myriad ...return before i
hit a point of no return. Move back for family and friends and in between
this realize my dream of living in a small uncrowded serene village
with amenities enough for a comfortable if not luxurious life (ok this will
take a long time but atleast a step in that direction is progress no?). Also i
can smell any little bit of racism like a rat and i hated it everytime it
happened either to me personally or when i was witness to any such thing. Of
course i would try as hard as i could to give it back. Like the one time we
stayed in a hostel somewhere in bay of islands, a particularly old and grumpy
granny was trying to talk to us to get the point across types. Like
we are from a 3rd world dirty useless country. Ok yeah so what... i would have
left it there. But she dint come from a bright minded open happy society either
and worse she was deluded that she belonged to one such. I used to try and be
clever and convince them that but what' the point? I felt I became extremely
defensive almost thumping my chest to defend all about India. I never boarded
the plane from Bangalore convinced that it was the happiest thing for me to do.
I was on my way to be the epitome of robot like efficient woman who could do it
all. Care for prash and k, run, cook, clean, study, work , go on
exotic holidays entertain frds with good food and humor, read books
for variety etc etc.A part of me always remained here. Somehow i had a feeling
i was becoming shallow. what and who mattered to me was so thin . There was no
big picture in life. we could continue like that for years. Own half-a-million
dollar house, work on making it a home ...in a place where i never felt i like
belonged to the community.... where i never felt like giving from the heart.
basically i could sense this conflict of interest every now and then. And
conflict is not good for mental health. So i had to move. There was a time
in life when all i wanted was a good night's undisturbed sleep. NZ gave me that
then. I remember how prash and i were just 2 of us for a long time in welli.
Now we are at the same stage. No friends to cal at midnight typically my unwind
time;). Its like i have been here doing the exact same thing sometime
before. Trying to build yet again my boat. There are a few things to be happy
about and proud of. I hope i dont give up on efficiency and become one of swalpa
adjust maadkolli mentality.
Now that the move is complete. well almost! I often
think where to start. I commute in autos quite frequently and sometimes i get
chatty with the auto drivers. I am confused about my feelings for auto
drivers. As a profession, whatever anyone chooses to do, they deserve
respect.... as long as they respect wat they do. Watchmen, maids, cleaners,
petty shop keepers, auto drivers. How do you tell someone its ok to do
what you are doing. Dont be so disrespectful to yourself and to your job. Ok
may be no one can love driving an auto or cleaning the streets but atleast
respect it. realise that its earning you money. I am beginning to realise the
problems(ok nothing life alteringly new ). There is too many of us. There can
only be so many opportunities. Some smart/lucky/genuine people get the
opportunity and make it. Most dont. This obviously breeds jealousy and
i-cant-care-less-about-u attitude.
In welli or NZ, the govt supports the
homeless, helpless and people are given a 100 opportunities to try
and make a living .
The other thing is everyone wants to be rich. y?
because if u r not rich, you cannot afford for example say the best of the
medical facilities. I mean who doesn't want their child/loved one to be
treated by the best. In NZ, everyone goes to the council hosp. I delivered my
baby there and am sure so did the plumber's wife or the receptionist or the
sales girl.They dont need to have loads of cash to get basic facilities.
Every one says its the attitude problem here. So
very true...but how did this attitude come about to be in the first place? I am
confused if i can say its ok... continue to drive ur auto or wipe the glass
doors for the rest of your life because if there is an emergency, am sure
they will perish whereas i will atleast have the chance to try my best not to
because I can afford to go a branded hospital. This equality ..how can
that be brought about? I am tempted towards communist approach. The haves will
do away with the excess and the havenots will get a share . Somewhere down the
lane in a few decades we will all be able afford the basics and then let people
go after their monies and keep what they earn. But of course that wont
work!. May b we dont want that extremity but wat other choices? Lets try to be
honest and pay what we owe?
The problem with the people in power. The karnataka
government for example is a joke .totally. Its like a round robin way of
amassing wealth. Ok i will be chief min for 6 months next is ur turn
types. and then oh i made a few 1000 crores less than u did so i want to
be CM again. I happened to hear of a civil engineer who takes care of road
works in a certain part of blore. He said very honestly that he gets about
30000 rs as bribe for a kilometer length of new road laid out. He told that
he was not asking for bribes per se and also went on to say he was against it
but then gave an excuse that he alone cannot
change anything(*sigh*). And if he dint take what came his way then it would go
off to someone else's pocket. He is the leaf of the tree meaning, the 30k has
trickled down to him as a leftover after everyone else is satisfied with
their share from the contractor. Appalling . Now of the 1 crore per km of the
road that any contractor is to spend, 90 lakhs is for bribing. The rest
a meager 10% is for the actual road. Naturally, it will not weather a
single monsoon season and the story repeats with another contractor, another
set of officials etc. Its impossible to think of anything anyone can do
here without being in power.
I think health and education in that order are most
important for a society. I regret that i dint study to be a doctor when i
had a chance. But then doctors are not the only ones who can cure no? Emotional
well being and hygiene can prevent the diseases. What does one do with a
section of the society that gives a rats-ass about rats in one's own home?
So its all circling round and round...all these
thoughts....
