Humbled

Somedays are very unpleasant. It is very humbling to take care of a baby.  To Have a baby on the other hand made me sort of proud. It was a i-know-what-pain-is , i have been through the worst n now look at this doll that my body has created... the kind of pride that only a mother can feel. The anger boiled over and somehow its not inbuilt in me to loose, not sure if its the term but that most aptly captures what i feel at times of these unpleasantless. ya to loose to a 2 foot one year old cant-even-walk on her own khushi. She does not want to sleep. and thats about it. there is nothing under the sun i can do then that would make her sleep. Last afternoon i tried for more than an hour, rocking, singing and feeding her and she was still wide eyed. I got angry, i shouted at her and i plonked her down. she looked up at me , smiled and went on to play with scout. I was lost. i dint know what to do. i could not immediately hold her , cuddle her n play with her. She wasted an hour of mine! n there was no point in knotting my brows n continuing to be angry because clearly she dint care or understand. So after sitting for about 10 mins. i had to calm myself down completely, give up my anger and go back to her. Its so unlike what i would do with any other adult who would cause so much anger in me. I went back to reading out books to her and in general we were happy again. So humbling . Once u r a parent, throw ur ego , pride and the whole lot bundled together out the window !!