I miss my work .The 8 hours of just me and my mind. The conversations i used to have in my head while making coffee in the cafeteria. The relationship with my laptop and lines of code. The interesting and irrelavent conversation with my workmates. This somehow kept me calm for the other 16 hours. Bottomline I miss my job very badly!
Very slowly I am coming to realise the big Indian picture. To have seen a better society, to have changed personally or shall I say to have become better at many many things by living elsewhere, I had this revolutionary urge. Not the hyped up patriotic crying @ swades songs etc but a desire from deep within to change the society i grew up in for what i consider better. But of course, wanting to change is meaningful only when there is a want to change. In this mass (mess?) of people and things I am getting lost. I am loosing the grip I had on my life, like how I could what I wanted with my life.
Where does one draw a line between optimism and sheer foolhardiness?
Sometimes its a shame really to think that the only comforting thought in my mind is that I can leave all of this and in 20 odd hours be gone back to the other end of the spectrum. Strange that I feel total disconnect with the place and people I was with for most of my life. That all this should frustrate me so much over and over again.
But the sun's set for today. Tomorrow is going to be a new day with a new way and of course new challenges!
Very slowly I am coming to realise the big Indian picture. To have seen a better society, to have changed personally or shall I say to have become better at many many things by living elsewhere, I had this revolutionary urge. Not the hyped up patriotic crying @ swades songs etc but a desire from deep within to change the society i grew up in for what i consider better. But of course, wanting to change is meaningful only when there is a want to change. In this mass (mess?) of people and things I am getting lost. I am loosing the grip I had on my life, like how I could what I wanted with my life.
Where does one draw a line between optimism and sheer foolhardiness?
Sometimes its a shame really to think that the only comforting thought in my mind is that I can leave all of this and in 20 odd hours be gone back to the other end of the spectrum. Strange that I feel total disconnect with the place and people I was with for most of my life. That all this should frustrate me so much over and over again.
But the sun's set for today. Tomorrow is going to be a new day with a new way and of course new challenges!
1 comment:
We miss things when they are not with us anymore, and that is why we miss them, otherwise we are too busy missing other things and not realizing the importance of what we have currently.
Reminds me of the indian movie "3 idiots" - where the heart can be moulded anyway we want, just keep saying, all is well all is well ... and all becomes gradually well. Not by what we were saying, but what our actions made us do while we were trying to fool out hearts.
oh my god, am I being too preachy kinds ..please ignore .. just writing whatever comes to my mind after reading your latest blog.And don't want to delete it as I am writing as I would have talked to you.
Still whenever I see the vanila pod icecream, reminds me of you, everytime I see someone running on oriental bay reminds me of you. saw Vibraam shoes , reminds me of you and Prashanth.
Moreover everytime , I invite friends and we serve food in the big bowls (I bought from you) reminds me of you...
Ishquiya movie , badmaash company .... dirty picture and I don't know how she does it.
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